This Week’s Poll!

“I have been told that, as of today, I am the only member not supporting the Girl Scout Resolution.” ~Indiana State Rep. Bob Morris, to fellow GOP House members

We’re not sure how many of you were worrying that the Girl Scouts of America were scheming to turn your daughters into sex-crazed lesbian Communists ready to go on abortion sprees, but, if you are, Bob Morris is on your side!

Morris is the Indiana State Representative who became a laughingstock this week when he sent a letter to his GOP colleagues concluding that the Girl Scouts of America had formed a “close strategic affiliation with” and had become the “tactical arm of Planned Parenthood.” He called the GSA a “radicalized organization” that was out to promote “homosexual lifestyles” and make girls receptive to the “pro-abortion agenda.” 

Morris says he got all this information from the Internet. Of course he did. Where else? Is there anything that the Internet can’t prove? It didn’t even take him long: in his words, he simply talked to “some well-informed constituents” and did “a small amount of web-based research” before reaching his shocking conclusion, which also resulted in Morris being the only member of the Indiana House to object to the resolution honoring the GSA’s 100th birthday.

Morris is sticking to his story, despite denials of any affiliation from both the GSA and Planned Parenthood — and in spite of House Speaker and fellow Republican Brian Bosma ridiculing him and handing out hundreds of Girl Scout cookies to fellow legislators last Tuesday. But surely that won’t discourage such an intrepid investigator! More conspiracies are merely a click away. So what’s the next cherished institution that Morris will discover has been infiltrated by evil liberals? What do YOU think?

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And now, check out this week’s featured video:

One more look at MICHELE BACHMANN:

President Bush was applauded for his dancing and President Obama has been criticized for his signing. Without commentary, here’s a side-by-side comparison. We want to know your opinion on who is the hipper Prez.

Contestant #1:

Twinkle Toes Bush

Contestant #2:

Mick Jagger Hands Over The Mic

Quick Poll:

How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found, by Doug Richmond

Snow Caves for Fun or Survival, by Ernest Wilkinson

This Week’s Poll!

Missouri Republican and U.S. Senator Roy Blunt, who has already stated that Medicare has never done anything to make anyone healthy, has some big new ideas about health insurance. In case you hadn’t heard, Blunt isn’t sure you should have any. Not if your employer has any objection to paying for it.

The kerfuffle between Obama and the Catholic Church over coverage of contraception has taken a new turn. Blunt, in an amendment he’s proposing to a bipartisan highway bill, wants to allow any employer to deny coverage on a whim. “It would allow anyone to deny any health-care service for any reason,” said California Senator Barbara Boxer. This is no longer just about the Catholic Church objecting to providing birth control. This is about any employer objecting to covering anything, regardless of religion.

In fact, the National Women’s Law Center pointed out that the amendment is so broad it would allow an employer’s view of “morality” to dictate what health coverage does and does not get covered. It even goes as far as to allow employers to sue if state or federal regulators try to enforce coverage. Just imagine working for a Jehovah’s Witness and needing a blood transfusion.

Of course, Blunt’s amendment has gotten lots of support from the likes of Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, House GOP Leader Eric Cantor and America’s favorite lunatic Glenn Beck.

So employers, without having to cite even a religious objection, have the right to deny any coverage of any specific treatment to their employees, for any reason whatsoever? This almost sounds like an argument in favor of getting employers out of the insurance game all together and leaving insurance to the federal government. But we’re pretty sure this is not what Roy Blunt has in mind.

We’ve put our heads together to try to imagine how all of this, if Blunt’s amendment passes, will play out. What do YOU think? If Roy Blunt has his way, what should we expect to see from certain employers’ insurance plans in the near future?

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And now, check out this week’s featured video:

Lester & Charlie Show You How To Make Your Own LIGHT BEER:

-Aunt Betty’s Almanac

When the first purple squirrel was captured in 1997, you probably though it was a fluke. And when the second was brought under control in 2008, you probably thought you’d heard the last of them. But then, just this week, Percy and Connie Emert of Pennsylvania found another one right in own back yard.

Leading theories on how the squirrel got purple range from genetic foul-ups or a diet of too much bromide to the possibility that someone from PETA involuntarily threw paint on it after spotting some fur.

In case you want to communicate with the purple squirrel or express your own theories on how he got that way, surf on over to his Facebook page.

Need to cut corners and scrimp and save wherever you can? Easy! Let Lester & Charlie show you how to make your own coupons!

This Week’s Poll!

When is news not really news? No, we’re not talking about FOX. We’re talking about satire.

You know the culture wars have spun out of control when no one can tell the fake news from the real. Even hard-nosed reporters like Rachel Maddow can be susceptible, as just last year she reported on a story from the satirical website christwire.org about a supposed Evangelical campaign to get Sarah Palin to invade Egypt.

With things at this kind of fever pitch, even the best of us can get confused. But is it too much to hope that an actual U.S. Congressman doesn’t fall for a beyond-outrageous story in The Onion?

This week, Louisiana’s GOP Rep. John Fleming posted a link on his Facebook wall. The link, to a nine-month-old Onion story with the screaming headline “Planned Parenthood Opens $8 Billion Abortionplex,” spins a tale of how Planned Parenthood wants to “make abortion more of a social event” with features in their Abortionplex like shops, cafes, a 10-screen multiplex movie theater and a three-story nightclub. “The Abortionplex’s high-tech machinery is capable of terminating one pregnancy every three seconds,” the faux article quoted Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards as saying while standing under a banner that read ‘No Life Is Sacred‘. “We’re so thrilled!”

Louisiana Congressman Fleming fell for the story, hard, adding his own comment on Facebook: “Abortion by the wholesale.”

The mania surrounding Planned Parenthood has been out of control for a while now, with conservatives blatantly misrepresenting what the organization actually does. But an elected official falling for a joke in a national satire publication is insane.

As we barrel toward November, we expect it all to get worse, especially as the GOP strangles itself trying to pick a nominee. Republicans started the culture wars, and they’re in no hurry to see them end, even if insanity has to come into play.

So we have to wonder: What’s the next satirical headline that some conservative official will fall for? What do YOU think? 

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Before you leave, don’t forget to check out this week’s featured video:

GOP TIME MACHINE: Women in the Workplace

The Bible Cure for Irritable Bowel Syndrome, by Don Colbert, M.D.

What Bird Did That? A Driver’s Guide to Some Common Birds of North America, by Hansard and Silver

This Week’s Poll!

There’s been a lot of activity this week. No, we’re not talking about Mitt Romney winning Florida. We’re talking about amendments.

You know what those are. Amendments are the way an elected representative takes something in a bill that she sees as hideous and tries to make it palatable for her constituents, usually to make a political point. Often, it means disaster. But, in two cases this week, it’s been hilarious.

First, a bill in Indiana that would allow creationism to be taught in public schools didn’t leave the Senate before being amended by a Democrat to allow teaching the origin myths of Hinduism, Buddhism and Scientology, too. We don’t think that’s what the original bill’s lunatic author had in mind.

Second, a bill in Virginia — demanding that all women considering an abortion first get an ultrasound — was amended by a Democrat to say that all men seeking a prescription for Viagra must first get a rectal exam.

This is your government at work, people. Every once in a while, it works out great.

The conservatives have a mission to return us to a bygone era — and that agenda serves as a reminder that the basic rights we take for granted are at stake. Sometimes random amendments like the ones we’ve seen this week are the only way our representatives can protect our cherished way of life. So that’s why we’re asking YOU to tell US: What are some amendments you’d like to see? Give us YOUR opinion!

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Before you leave, don’t forget to check out this week’s featured video:

Sh!t Lester & Charlie Say